“Tonight, I am going to be tortured for the woman I love …”

Elizabeth’s drives and desires have always been unusual. Beginning in early childhood, her need for love and suffering took her from the prim surroundings of a Norfolk girls’ school to the secret, latex-clad, rope-bound, whip-lashed delights of the Tokyo BDSM scene.

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About the Author

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About the author

ELIZABETH HACKFORD was born and bred in East Anglia. She graduated in mathematics from Durham University in 1994 and began a career in financial services in London. Over the course of her life, she has lived and worked in London, Paris, Tokyo, and Dubai. She currently works and resides in Tokyo, and she doesn’t stop writing! EXODAI is the first memoir Elizabeth has published. She was compelled to write about her struggles with her sexuality and narrate the story of how she eventually learnt to love herself, placing particular emphasis on her S&M relationship with a Japanese dominatrix.

“Tonight, I am going to be tortured for the woman I love …”

For Elizabeth, torture was not about sexual gratification – it was about love. In this frank and open memoir, she tells the story of a remarkable personal journey. Attracted to other girls from an early age, Elizabeth struggled to come to terms with her sexuality. As a schoolgirl, her fantasies of torture – always for the benefit of whichever girl she was in love with – were rooted in her own inability to accept herself as a lesbian or reconcile her desires with her Christian beliefs. Before finally realising that connection, Elizabeth would go through years of emotional and physical pain.

Having experimented with bondage at university, Elizabeth discovered S&M when her career as a high-flying headhunter took her to Tokyo. There she was inducted into the BDSM scene and learnt what real S&M was all about. When she fell in love with a gorgeous Japanese dominatrix called Tomo and became her slave, she began a descent into hell. Tomo proved to be an irredeemable sadist who took torture far beyond the accepted limits of S&M. Elizabeth went to the brink of destruction for Tomo. Not for the faint-hearted, this gripping memoir describes what she experienced there and how she found her way back.

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